How to Approach New Year’s Resolutions as a Perfectionist

As a high-achieving perfectionist, you might set grand New Year’s resolutions with the best intentions, only to find yourself feeling defeated or giving up soon after. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The truth is, achieving lasting change isn’t easy, especially when we’re too hard on ourselves. But with the right mindset and approach, you can set resolutions that are realistic, meaningful, and achievable.

Here’s why it’s so tough to keep New Year’s resolutions—and how to make them work for you.

1. Lack of Personal Meaning

Perfectionists often set goals because they feel they “should,” not because they’re deeply meaningful. When a goal doesn’t excite or resonate with you, it’s much harder to stay motivated. If your resolution feels like just another task, it’s easy to lose interest.

For example: If your goal is “exercise more” but it doesn’t connect to something you truly care about (like feeling energized or boosting your mental clarity), you’re more likely to give up.

2. Unrealistic Expectations Lead to Overwhelm

It’s natural to set high goals, but sometimes they’re too broad or ambitious. When goals are unrealistic, it’s easy to get discouraged after a setback, especially if you fall into an all-or-nothing mindset. Perfectionists often expect immediate results, and when things don’t go according to plan, frustration sets in.

For example: Instead of resolving to “be more organized,” break it down into specific actions like “declutter my workspace for 10 minutes a day.” This makes your goal more manageable and less overwhelming.

3. Changing Habits Takes Time

Changing habits isn’t easy. Perfectionists expect quick results, but lasting change requires patience, effort, and self-compassion. It's normal to face setbacks, but instead of beating yourself up, allow yourself to be human.

For example: If you’re trying to wake up earlier, it’s not just about setting an alarm. It’s about adjusting your routine, giving yourself time to adjust, and accepting the process.

How to Set Resolutions That Actually Stick

You can absolutely create resolutions that bring growth and fulfillment. Here’s how to make them work for you.

1. Choose Goals That Align with Your Values

Set goals that resonate with what truly matters to you. When your resolutions are connected to your core values, they’ll feel meaningful and worth pursuing.

For example: Rather than setting a vague goal like “be healthier,” focus on something specific and connected to your values, such as “prepare healthy meals that energize me for work.”

2. Break Goals into Achievable Steps

Rather than overwhelming yourself with a big, vague goal, break it down into small, realistic steps. This approach will help you feel progress, build momentum, and avoid burnout.

For example: If your goal is to “get more organized,” start with something small, like organizing your desk once a week. Small actions will help you stay on track.

3. Focus on the Positive Outcomes

Think about how achieving your goal will make you feel—whether that’s more energy, confidence, or clarity. Visualizing these outcomes can keep you motivated, especially when challenges arise.

Remember, It’s About Progress, Not Perfection

New Year’s resolutions aren’t about being perfect—they’re about making small, meaningful changes. Life can be messy, and setbacks are a natural part of growth. Be kind to yourself as you pursue your goals and celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.

You’re enough, just as you are. Give yourself the grace to grow and change at your own pace. This year, make your resolutions work for you, not against you.

Cheers,

Dr. Jessica