How Perfectionists Handle Achievements

Perfectionists may avoid sharing their successes and achievements with others. There may be different reasons for this, but ultimately it can be tied to the experience of imposter syndrome; a feeling as though one is a fraud and is actually undeserving of their accolades. A perfectionist, therefore, may fear drawing attention to themselves as that might, in the mind of a perfectionist, risk them being “found out” as a fraud. Because a perfectionist tends to focus more on their mistakes, flaws, and imperfections, it may make it hard for them to ever see themselves as deserving of accolades (even though, deep down, they crave it).

A perfectionist may also avoid sharing their successes because they worry of others’ perceptions of them. For example, perfectionists may worry about being seen as a “show off” and fear upsetting anyone. Perfectionists tend to be “peace-keepers,” and if they were to anticipate that sharing their success will potentially upset or hurt someone else’s feelings (someone who possibly didn’t reach the same level of success and wanted to), then they will more than likely put the other person’s needs before their own.

Why is this a problem? Well sharing your success and achievements with others is key to building connections. Allowing yourself to be celebrated is an important part of building closer connection with yourself and others. Allowing yourself to believe that you deserve those accolades is also important (because you most certainly do!). It’s also essential to remind yourself that protecting others’ feelings is not your responsibility (as much as your brain might tell you otherwise). Everyone is responsible for their own emotional reactions. You don’t need to placate to others, especially if and when it’s working against you.

Celebrate you whenever you can.

If this post resonates with you and you are interested in exploring perfectionism and/or to see if we’re a good fit to work together, please reach out via my contact form on my website. I’m also always happy to provide referrals in the communities of Los Angeles and Orange County, California.

Cheers,
Dr. Jessica